OATS (6)

          I suppose I should really get back to blogging, although I can't say I have been deluged with queries about my absence, or noticed a demand for new posts in MM. Right now I am feeling like those people who aren't ready to return to the office. Actually, I have far less motivation than they, since I don't get paid. Still, it is depressingly dreary outside and I might as well do this since there is nothing else I can do for which I might be paid.

   Apart from lacking in motivation, I am also lacking in both intelligence and imagination and am having difficulty in coming up with a topic, although maybe all I need to do is ask the AI guy: "What should I write about?" The answer, however,  might be something difficult, about which I know nothing, so I will now try to come up with something. 
   I have decided to remain contrarian and will revive an old series, even though the subject is not a positive one, especially at the beginning of a new year. It is basically about getting old and dying, which many people do, even those who think 80 is the new 50. 
   The series is called "OATS" and that is an acronym for OldAgeThemeS. It was originally undertaken to irritate a couple who I will describe as "never-deathers", in denial of the existence of doom. "OATS" is, in other words, not for those who are feeling their oats and don't want to be reminded of mortality, or for those wasting their time at the gym.
   I see that the first "OATS" was done five years ago and I confess that the couple for whom it was intended is still around. About four of those years, however, were spent by them, not me, in abstinence and the gym and they will be irritated to be reminded of that. That first post has the title "Contrarian News For Old Codgers: The News Is Not Good", and it consist of a discussion of Michael Kinsley's book, Old Age: A Beginners Guide. 
   The second "OATS" post, does what this one will also do -- offer you better writing that is provided by someone else. The writer in the first post is Margaret Drabble and you are presented with some of her thoughts which were found in, The Dark Flood Rises. For her comments see: "More Contrarian News for Old Timers." 
   Now, finally, here is some good prose about the bad subject of old age.

   This is from Staring At the Sun by Julian Barnes.

  “Jean had often wondered what it would be like to grow old. When she had been in her fifties, and still feeling in her thirties, she heard a talk on the radio by a gerontologist.”Put cotton wool in your ears’, he had said, ‘and pebbles in your shoes. Pull on rubber gloves. Smear vaseline over your glasses, and there you have it: ‘instant ageing’. 
  It was a good test, but it naturally contained a flaw. You never did age instantly; you never did have a sharp memory for comparison. Nor, when she looked back over the last forty of her hundred years, did it seem initially, or even mainly, a matter of sensory deprivation. You grew old first not in your own eyes, but in other people’s eyes; then, slowly, you agreed with their opinion of you. It wasn’t that you couldn’t walk as far as you used to, it was that other people didn’t expect you to; and if they didn’t, then it needed vain obstinacy to persist.”....
 “ She lived increasingly inside her head, and was content to be there. Memories, there were far too many memories; they raced across her sky like Irish weather. Her feet with each succeeding year, seemed a little farther away from her hands; she dropped things, stumbled a little, was fearful; but mostly what she noticed was the smirking paradox of old age; how everything seemed to take longer than it used to, but how, despite this, time seemed to go faster.”
[Jean above is 100, but this is a fictional work.]

Sources for the Morbidly Curious:
  The third OATS discusses MAID, a subject to which I will soon return.
  The fourth OATS suggests that all that brain exercise may not be good for you. 
  The fifth OATS is about Barbara Ehrenreich's book, Natural Causes, of which she died.