Generational Gibberish

   I am again irritated by the use of terms like, "Gen X" or "Alpha" and no one has heeded my appeal to stop using them in headlines. My irritation was most recently displayed in "Spontaneous Generations", where this quotation is found and now provided again:" The contemporary problem with generations lies in their ubiquity as an explanation for social phenomena. There is no credible evidence to suggest that generations exist, or that they manifest to influence behavior in any systematic way. Further, there is no value whatsoever in formulating organizational, economic, or labor policies based on these unsupported social constructions."

   Seven years and many headlines ago I complained about them in: "Millennial Nonsense: Generalizations About Generations." In revisiting that post I noticed that I produced, as evidence, examples of generational terms being used in articles and book titles. Although I need not write any more about this issue, I did take the time to add to the bibliography already provided. Below are forty-or-so headlines from just the past few months. I did not take the time to capitalize them or provide the sources since they are not worth the effort, but I will assure you that they are real and often from respected publications.

Do the Democrats have a Gen Z problem?
A Sock War Is Afoot Between Millennials and Gen Z
What Gen Z Gets Wrong About Sunscreen
Millennials had it bad financially, but Gen Z may have it worse
What Gen Z wants in the workplace
Millennials top boomers in debt while Gen X still owe the most
What millennials need to know about rising cancer rates
Millennials, Gen Z, need government help ‘now more than ever
Majority of millennials, Gen Z don't support Trudeau's internet regulation plans
How millennials became the least cool generation
Is ‘OK millennial’ the new ‘OK boomer’? Helen Coffey charts her generation’s journey from hip young things to desperately outdated
Gen Z model sparks debate after saying millennial fashion ‘staple’ is out
Millennials and Gen Z have given up on finding fulfillment at work as survey finds they’re the least likely to care about enjoying their job
Wealthy US millennials more than twice as likely to invest in wine than Gen X or Boomers
Boomers called me a slacker - now I've got an 'entitled' Gen-Z rant:Millennials, Gen-X and Boomers are lining up to call out young workers…
Travelling Then Vs Now – 6 Things Gen X Used To Do That Millennials Now Could Never 
Gen X and millennials would pay higher taxes to access Medicare
Gen Z and Millennials smile for 65 minutes each day -but Gen X only manage 48: survey finds
Boomers are sexist bigots. Gen X have let down their children. Millennials are constantly moaning. What Gen Z REALLY thinks about you - and…
Gen Z will pay dearly for this U.S. blunder on the massive debt that boomers, Gen X, and millennials are dumping on them, former White House…
Three Gen X Retirement Mistakes for Millennials, Gen Z to Avoid
How Work Habits of Gen Z, Millennials and Gen X Differ — Who’s More Successful?
Man sparks FURIOUS debate after revealing his fascinating theory about why millennials are aging so much BETTER than Gen X
24-year-olds are more likely to own homes than millennials and Gen X when they were that age
Survey reveals Gen X and Millennials desire business ownership and embrace flexible working hours
Millennials and Gen X LESS likely to have a grasp on pensions than Gen Z
Millennials and Gen X must dispel earlier generations’ tech doubts
Unique Challenges: Leading Millennials, Centennials, and Gen X
Oldest Millennials joining Gen X in middle age, weighed down by worries about their finances - RBC Poll
Younger workers are actually using AI on the job less than Gen X and millennials
Millennials, Gen X Push Ahead of Gen Z in Homeownership in 2023
Millennials and Gen X leading tech adoption in microbusinesses
Hey, Gen X, Z and millennials: the great wealth transfer could go to health care, not you.

Sources:
  They have already been provided and if you google "generations" the Wikipedia entry will be enough. If, like me, you can never remember where these people supposedly reside in the past, this illustration may help, but should be ignored.

  I realize that writing headlines is difficult and need to be short, which is one of the reasons for the appeal of "Gen X", but such headlines are unhelpful. For some humorous ones caused by the need to be concise see: Headlines.

BEYOND THE PALEWALL (2)

 

["Beyond the Palewall" is the title of this series because "Beyond the Paywall" is taken. Information for which you are not willing to pay, along with information you may not wish to know, is presented in abbreviated form without charge. What has caught my eye may sometimes feel like a poke in yours and, in that sense, be beyond the pale for you. Items will appear weekly, or perhaps monthly, or maybe semi-annually, if I can get started and the weather is bleak.]

Blow That Whistle! - On Whistle Blowing
  Occasionally we witness examples of malfeasance in government at the federal level, and perhaps more often at the provincial one, and on rare occasions a whistle is blown. Such behaviour needs encouragement and it is provided in this article relating to government fraud in the United States.  Ms. Feinberg is featured in it and she is $42 MILLION richer and, no doubt, whistling all the way to the bank.
   "How a Whistleblower Says Booz Allen Hamilton Defrauded the Government: Sarah Feinberg's Complaint About the Billing Practices Led to a $377 Million Settlement With the Justice Department," David Nakamura, Washington Post, Aug. 26, 2023.
"Only a few months into a new finance job, Sarah Feinberg was stunned when a senior manager with a Northern Virginia-based defense contractor called federal auditors “too stupid” to notice overcharging, according to a federal complaint she filed....
During the ensuing nine months, she repeatedly raised concerns with senior executives, including internal compliance officials and the chief financial officer, according to the 37-page civil complaint she filed against Booz Allen in 2016 under the federal False Claims Act....
In July, the Justice Department, which investigated her complaint, announced that Booz Allen had agreed to pay $377 million — $209 million in restitution to the federal government and the rest in penalties — to settle the matter, one of the largest awards in a government procurement case in history....
Feinberg, who said she felt vindicated and was to receive nearly $70 million for making the case known to authorities, nevertheless could not help having doubts about whether justice had been served....Feinberg had filed a “qui tam” lawsuit in which whistleblowers are awarded a portion of any financial judgment or settlement as incentive to come forward with evidence of fraud against the U.S. government.... 
According to federal data, 652 people filed qui tam complaints last year, and the Justice Department recovered $2.2 billion in false claims by companies from 351 of those cases, the second-highest number of cases ever. The largest awards have come in health care, procurement and mortgage lending, federal officials said....
For Feinberg, the personal award is life-changing. After paying her lawyers, she cleared a pretax amount of $42 million — up to $12 million of which she intends to put into a charitable trust. Some funds will go to supporting her church, she said, and she is interested in investing in underserved communities.

    I have learned that there is in Canada the, Whistleblowing Canada Research Society.    

Unfit For Service
    I did not include the fact that the fine Ms. Feinberg mentioned above had also been in the Marine Corps Reserve. Although she broke her pelvis during officer candidate school, she got her commission and volunteered for a tour in Iraq. This leads me to the next story which indicates that the Marines are not having any difficulty filling the ranks, but the other services certainly are. It appears that sitting on the couch playing "Call For Duty" does not mean you will be able to answer it.
   "U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force Struggle For Recruits: The Marines Have Plenty: As the Other Large Military Branches Fall Short of Their Goals Despite Offering Bonuses and Other Incentives, the Marine Corps Easily Fills Its Ranks On Swagger Alone," Dave Philipps, New York Times, Oct. 17, 2023.
"These are dark days for military recruiting.
The Army, Navy and Air Force have tried almost everything in their power to bring in new people. They’ve relaxed enlistment standards, set up remedial schools for recruits who can’t pass entry tests, and offered signing bonuses worth up to $75,000. Still, this year the three services together fell short by more than 25,000 recruits.
Military leaders say there are so few Americans who are willing and able to serve, and so many civilian employers competing for them, that getting enough people into uniform is nearly impossible.Tell that to the Marines.
The Marine Corps ended the recruiting year on Sept. 30 having met 100 percent of its goal, with hundreds of contracts already signed for the next year.
The corps did it while keeping enlistment standards tight and offering next to no perks. When asked earlier this year about whether the Marines would offer extra money to attract recruits, the commandant of the Marine Corps replied: “Your bonus is that you get to call yourself a Marine. That’s your bonus.”
Apparently the slogan, "The Few. The Proud. The Marines", works. 

   Although standards have been lowered,  "about 77 percent of young people are ineligible to enlist because they are overweight, or have disqualifying mental or physical conditions or issues with drug use, according to a Defense Department report.

BEYOND THE PALEWALL (1)

["Beyond the Palewall" is the title of this series because "Beyond the Paywall" is taken. Information for which you are not willing to pay, along with information you may not wish to know, is presented in abbreviated form without charge. What has caught my eye may sometimes feel like a poke in yours and, in that sense, be beyond the pale for you. Items will appear weekly, or perhaps monthly, or maybe semi-annually, if I can get started and the weather is bleak.]

SACRÉ BLEU - Wine Destruction

   You may have missed this bad news among the other bad news, but this is truly terrible. There is too much wine in Europe and the French government is spending over 200 million euros to get rid of it. Perhaps they could just ship it to the LCBO.

   "France Has Too Much Wine. It's Paying Millions to Destroy the Leftovers," Caroline Anders, Washington Post, Aug. 26, 2023.

"Ruining so much wine may sound ludicrous, but there’s a straightforward economic reason this is happening: Making wine is getting more expensive due in part to recent world events, and people are drinking less of it. That has left some producers with a surplus that they cannot price high enough to make a profit. Now, some of France’s most famous wine-producing regions, like Bordeaux, are struggling....

In June, the European Union initially gave France about $172 million to destroy nearly 80 million gallons of wine, and the French government announced additional funds this week. Producers will use the funds to distill their wine into pure alcohol to be used for other products, such as cleaning supplies or perfume.

Wine consumption in France has been plummeting since its peak in 1926, when the average French citizen drank about 136 liters per year. Today, that number is closer to 40 liters, The Washington Post previously reported. Consumers are also inundated with beverage choices now, and they’re choosing wine less and less.

As consumption has taken a nosedive, production costs have increased and inflation has tightened budgets around the world. That’s especially true since the coronavirus pandemic, which shuttered bars, restaurants and wineries, driving up prices. The war in Ukraine also influenced the industry by disrupting shipments of products essential to winemaking, such as fertilizer and bottles. And on top of the pandemic and war, climate change is forcing growers to adapt to new harvest schedules and reckon with more extreme weather."

Rivers of Wine! 

  Not long after that article was published, this one was. I am not suggesting they are related.

   "Nearly 600,000 Gallons of Wine Wash Down the Street in Portuguese Town,"  María Luisa Paúl, Washington Post, Sept. 12, 2023. 

"Residents in a Portuguese village woke up to an almost biblical scene on Sunday morning. The streets were impassable, replaced by a raging river of close to 600,000 gallons of red wine.

After two wine tanks belonging to a local distillery burst, enough booze flowed down the roads of São Lourenço do Bairro to fill an Olympic-size pool — and to spark fears from local leaders about possible environmental damage…

Sunday’s wine wave began at Destilaria Levira, a company that specializes in transforming wine into a slew of products, including gin, cleaning supplies and food oils. Though authorities are still investigating what caused the tanks to burst, the company said the wine they carried was essentially going to be destroyed — or distilled into raw alcohol — as part of the Portuguese government’s attempts to address a brewing wine crisis.

The nation with the world’s highest wine consumption per capita is among the European countries grappling with a massive surplus of wine this year. The combination of rising production costs and an ever-increasing range of alcoholic drink options has resulted in plummeting demand for wine in countries such as France, Spain and Italy....

The episode in Portugal isn’t the first time large amounts of wine have spilled. In 2020, the Russian River in California’s Sonoma County was tainted red after a 97,000-gallon winery tank burst open. That same year, a 13,000-gallon tank broke at a Spanish winery, leaving a flood of red wine gushing down like a breached dam."

  This story was also reported in the New York Times: "A River of Wine Flooded the Streets of a Town in Portugal," Sept. 12, 2023.

"The tanks that collapsed were part of an effort to address a broader problem: There’s too much wine in Europe. Portugal, like other major European wine producers such as France and Italy, is suffering from an oversupply of wine, largely because of a decline in both consumption and exports. The tanks that collapsed were being used to store surplus wine, according to the distillery."

I will try to find some better news.

Dead Fish Headlines

 

More Signs of the Times

  You may have noticed many recent news stories with headlines such as the ones provided below. They all relate to dead fish in the Gulf of Mexico, the ones pictured above.

“Dead Fish Wash Ashore on Texas Gulf Coast: A Biblical Plague”
“Tens of Thousands of Dead Fish Wash Ashore on Gulf Coast Texas”
“Why Hundreds of Dead Fish Washed Ashore in Texas”
“Hundreds of Thousands of Dead Fish Are Washing Ashore”

  There are many others and I decided to troll and find more. A simple search yielded many from all around the globe. I will just provide the headlines because I am too lazy to type or paste the full source. Trust me, unfortunately they are all real and recent and there are many more than I have presented.

From elsewhere in North America:

“Dead Fish Washing Up on Shores of Lake Washington” (Washington state)
“Dead Fish and Other Aquatic Animals More Common in Summer Heat” (Michigan)
“Why Dead Fish are Washing Up on Michigan Shores" 
“Biologist Explains Uptick in Dead Fish Floating Along Riverfront” Paducah (Ohio River)
“Annual Spring Die-off of Lake Erie Fish Causing Concern”
“Dead Fish Spotted at Canyon Lake” South Dakota"
"Dead Fish Surface at Sunset Park Pond” Nevada
“Dead Fish in Grenadier Pond Being Investigated” (Toronto)
“Locals Still Concerned Over Dead Fish in RIver (Tenn.)
“Hundreds of Dead Fish Die From Spawning Stress in Iowa Lakes”

From the UK:

“Dead Fish Found Floating in Earlswood Lakes” 
“Ballinderry River: Fish Kill Investigated in County Tyrone”

From the Middle East and Africa:

“Authorities Probe Suspected Poisoning of Dead Fish in Sea of Galilee”
“Fish Deaths Near Rio Tinto Mine in Madagascar Dredge Up Community Differences”

From the Far East:

“Dead Fish Raise a Stink in Sursager Lake Once Again” (India)
“Thousands of Fish Dead in Dal Lake” Authorities See Thermal Stratification as Reason” (India)
“Almost 400 kg of Fish Found Floating Dead on Nam Ngao River” (Laos)
“35 Tons of Dead Fish Wash Up in China Lake”

Last, But Not Least - Australia:

“Dead Fish Found in the Darling River at Menindee”
“NSW Chief Scientist to Lead Inquiry Into Menindee Fish Kill”
“Millions of Dead Fish Wash Up Amid Heat Wave in Australia”
"Thousands of Fish Flushed Out of the RIver Murray"
“Tonnes of Dead Fish Pulled From Darling in River Cleanup”
“Thousands of Dead Fish Surface on Gold Coast”

I did not include magazines in my search, but here is one example that relates to the picture above" "Millions of Dead Fish Are Rotting in an Australian River," Margaret Osborne, Smithsonian Magazine, March 21, 2023. I also excluded stories about the fish killed in Ukraine - "“Footage Shows Dead Fish in Kakhovka Reservoir After Dam Flooding."

  The fish are disappearing fast along with farms in Ontario. At least we have our cricket factory. 

For more about our cricket factory see: "Entomophagy" and "Crickets and Conspiracies." 

For more about fish dying from industrial causes rather than unnatural ones see: "Holy Mackeral." 

For headlines that are less depressing see: "Headlines.

"Screwed the Pooch"

 

Headline of the Month

   Although I could not find a good Canadian image to illustrate our topic for today, the one above should suffice and, as well, indicate that variants of the phrase are widely used. It is an odd bit of slang, but it is found in this CBC headline on Nov. 22, 2022: 
" 'Your Guy Really Screwed the Pooch,' texts Kenney, Upset With Feds Over Coutts Blockade." The term is not really explained in the article, but it is clear that many people "screwed up" when the Emergency Act was invoked.

   Apparently pooch screwing is synonymous with blundering or making an egregious mistake, but the discriminating readers of Mulcahy's Miscellany will only be satisfied if a bit of philology is applied. Here is that bit.

   Readers of this blog likely first encountered the phrase when reading The RIght Stuff by Tom Wolfe. The rest of you probably heard it uttered in the film with that name back in the last century. More recently in this one, you may have been surprised when a CBS News correspondent  used the phrase on "Face the Nation" when discussing the Obama administration and the war in Syria. If one is travelling to outer space or navigating through the political milieu, there are lots of opportunities to "screw the pooch" and apply acronyms like SNAFU or FUBAR. 

"F****** the Dog"

  It is likely that "screwing the pooch" is a euphemism for the more vulgar "F****** the dog," which like SNAFU and FUBAR, originated in the military. The latter phrase has a different meaning and I thought of it when I first encountered a new one - "Quiet Quitting." It is likely most of us were aware of "QQ", before it was a thing, and had a colleague or two who were slacking off, being lazy, dogging it, or as we would say after work and a few drinks, "Jim was "f****** the dog" again today." 

Sources:

   The use of the less vulgar variant of the phrase is described in this article: "Review - The Week - The Word on the Street - The Pedigree of the Naughty Pooch," Ben Zimmer, Wall Street Journal, Jan. 4, 2014. Mr. Zimmer discusses the topic in more detail in a publication which allowed him to mention the more vulgar phrase: "A Reporter Said 'Screw the Pooch' on Face the Nation: Where Does That Phrase Come From?", Slate, Jan. 14, 2014. 

   Everything you need to know about the F-Word is found in the plainly titled book, The F-Word by the lexicographer Jesse Sheidlower. It is published by the Oxford University Press and a copy used to be found in the London Public Library. I suppose that someone f***** off with it. For more F information see: "Swearing & Slurring." 

The Bonus:

  In the longer article by Mr. Zimmer, this is noted: 

 "It’s not impossible, after all, for various military personnel to have independently transformed “fuck the dog” into “screw the pooch” on separate occasions. After my Wall Street Journal column was published, former Navy Lieutenant Commander Arthur P. Menard wrote in to say that he recalled “screw the pooch” being used to describe fatal crashes in 1959, when he was a midshipman aboard the aircraft carrier USS Oriskany, and again in 1960 in flight school in Pensacola. He described it as “black humor in the Naval air arm for a very unfunny incident.”

  If the USS Oriskany rings a bell that may be because I mentioned it in my post about Senator John McCain where a review of the book, Over the Beach: The Air War in Vietnam is presented. It's easy to screw the pooch on an aircraft carrier. 

On Bullying

 

Bullish About Bullying

  I associate the word "bullying" with schoolyards, beaches and childhood, but now the word is everywhere and even hordes of adults are affected by it.  I was going to do a post on the subject, but am giving up. There is so much baloney about bullying, I feel too intimidated (bullied) to tackle it. What I will do is simply prove to you that the word is overused by rounding up some recent articles about it and displaying them. I will then offer my usual contrarian bit. But, given that many, many people are worried about bullying, I also will offer sources to soothe them, with the hopes that they won't bully me for being so insensitive about a topic that is terrifying.

Recent Headlines (All are real and recent.)

Sunak Facing Calls to Sack Gavin Williamson Over Bullying Allegations

Strike Shows Ford's School Bully Strategy

The Cancel Culture is an Extension of Bullying, says Shruti [India]

Abusive Bullying’ of Fish Hoek High School Students Condemned [South Africa]

Bullying of Blacks Takes a Toll on Mental Health

Racist Bullying Shook a Small US Town. Then Came the Bomb Threats

Hazing, Harassment, Bullying Allegations Leveled Against Hockey Organization Okanagan HC

Nearly 30 per cent of Hospital BME Staff Suffer Harassment, Bullying or Abuse

An Outraged Mother Enters the Classroom to Defend Her Son From Bullying: She Asks Her Son Who was Bullying Him and Beats Up His Classmate.

Head Banned From Classroom for Allowing Her ‘Rude and Controlling’ Teacher Husband to Bully Staff in Same School

Make Forces Chiefs Liable for Bullying

Asda Accused of ‘Bullying Workers’ Who Speak Out Over Pay Dispute by Unions

Government Launches Campaign to Identify Warning Signs Against Bullying [Latin America]

Homeless Man Accuses Byron Bay Council Workers of 'Bullying' After They Slap Him With $600 Fine for Filling His Water Tank up in a 'No Stopping' Bay

Recent Article Titles From the Harvard Business Review

[This was when I realized the subject was a serious one and decided to abandon it.]

How Bullying Manifests at Work — and How to Stop It

Workplace Bullying Taxonomy

Bullying Is a Confidence Game

Diagnose and Eliminate Workplace Bullying

Eating Their Cake And Everyone Else's Cake, Too: Resources As The Main Ingredient To Stop Workplace Bullying

Gordon Brown's Leadership, Passionate or Bullying?

The Contrarian Part

   I guess I shouldn't be surprised given that now people have to be warned in advance of reading anything that may be harmful and even "violent", and that students living in the safest enclaves (campuses) on the continent need spaces within them that are even safer. Perhaps people used to be tougher and when they were bullied, somehow got over it.

  As proof I offer this passage. It describes the childhood experience of an American boy who found himself in Saskatchewan in the early part the last century and it includes and anti-American ditty that those of you who are anti-American will appreciate. 

"The first year in Eastend was a chaos of experiences, good and bad. I caught lice from the half-Indian kids I played with and was fiercely shampooed with kerosene. I learned dirty words and dirty songs from the children of railroad construction workers and from Z-X cowpunchers. With other boys, I was induced to ride calves and lured into “shit fights” with wet cow manure in the Z-X corrals. Then or later I learned to dog-paddle, first in the irrigation ditch, later in the river, and I fished for suckers in the deep holes of the bends, and followed trails through willows that felt like authentic wilderness. Then or later we put .22 cartridges or blasting caps on the tracks ahead of approaching handcars or speeders, and once we got satisfactorily chased by the gandy dancers of the section crew. Around Christmas we all watched the first soldiers go off to the war, and then and afterward we had trouble with the Canadian kids who said the United States was too yellow to get into the fight. They had a song for us:

Here’s to the American eagle

He flies over mountain and ditch

But, we don’t want the turd of your goddam bird

You American son of a bitch.

   My brother, who was big for his age, and tough, fought every kid his size, and some bigger, in defense of America’s honor. But we were ashamed, and we got an instructive taste of how it felt to be disliked for tribal affiliations that we hadn’t really known we had.”

From: “Finding the Place: A Migrant Childhood,” in Where the Bluebird Sings to the Lemonade Springs; Living and Writing in the West, Wallace Stegner.

The Anti-Bullying Business

   A good career can be found in the industry that has developed to help you fight off all the bullies. There is an Anti-Bullying Day  and next week is Anti- Bullying Week in England and even Wales (where I did think people were tougher.) For help in Canada see Bullying Canada and even in Saskatchewan (where they used to be tougher.)

Post Script:

  Loyal readers will know that I did to a post about Headlines, some of which were spurious, but the ones above are real. Given that I abandoned this subject, I didn't want to spend more time providing the entire source. 

Headline for the Week (1)

 

Some Good News For a Change

  Admittedly, this is a cheap way to create a post, since post-worthy headlines are found daily. But, we really do need some good news, and it is that luxury car sales are up. I do suppose there is some corresponding bad news, in that if you wish to buy a new Bentley Bentayga, you may be too late. Perhaps there might still be a few left with the steering wheel on that side. The headline:
                        "As the World Reels, Bentley Sales Skyrocket."

  It is found at the top of an article in the Globe & Mail on Jan. 12 which was written by Andrew Clark. He adds: 

"If you’re looking to sum up the economic side of the COVID-19 pandemic in one sentence, look no further: “Luxury British car maker Bentley cruised to a record year in 2021 as global sales jumped 31 per cent amid strong demand for high-end vehicles, the Volkswagen AG unit said on Thursday.”

That’s from Reuters. As the world reeled from the worst pandemic in more than 100 years, Bentley sales rose to 14,659 in 2021 from 11,206 units in 2020. Bentley’s top-selling vehicle was the Bentayga luxury SUV, which starts at more than $200,000.

There you have it – as the plague raged, members of the moneyed class were forced to spend their hard-earned millions on luxury vehicles. How fortunate they had the outlet."

   Other luxury cars were in high demand.

"Bentley isn’t the sole luxury vehicle in high demand since the pandemic swept the planet, leaving millions of people dead, unemployed and/or depressed. In April, 2021, Rolls-Royce chalked up the best quarter in its history. The company sold 1,380 cars in the first quarter (up 62 per cent from the same period in 2020). In 2021, Lamborghini registered the best six months in its history, selling 4,853 vehicles. Porsche North America sold 70,000, up from its record sales in 2020."

His concluding line:

"Kind of makes you wonder: if Nero were around today, would he fiddle as Rome burned, or would he head down to the nearest Bentley chariot dealership?"

The Bonus:

   Since I confessed that that was a fairly easy post to create, here are a couple more headlines, noticed recently. They are not necessarily in the 'good news' category, but they are ones that will be easily identifiable as representative of the current zeitgeist. 

"California Will Require Large Retailers to Provide Gender Neutral Toy Sections" (the L.A. Times, Oct.10, 2021)

"Any Abuse That Anybody Talks About, It's True." (CTV News, London, June 25, 2021)

For a whole bunch more: "Extra Extra, Read All About It."

Homeopathy

   Although it is generally the purpose of this blog to consider remote events, so we don't have to worry or think about current ones, I do think it is my duty to call to your attention a recent headline. It hints at good news which is rare. It is:

CANADIAN GOVERNMENT WILL STOP PAYING FOR HOMEOPATHS TO GO TO HONDURAS

   Now, apart from noticing the alliterative attractiveness of the title, I can't say much since I did not read anything below it, out of fear that I would notice all the other bad news. I am just pleased to learn that no more of the tax dollars we are about to pay will by going to fund this dubious project.
   I knew we were having difficulties with Huawei, but I admit that I was not aware that there were problems with Honduras. If we really want to do the Hondurans harm, our money would be better spent if we sent the anti-vaxxers (and their children) rather than homeopaths.
Source: 
"Canadian Government will Stop Paying for Homeopaths to go to Honduras: CBC Stories Raised Concerns About Unproven Claims and Potential Harms" The Canadian Press · Posted: Mar 06, 2019

HEADLINES

Extra Extra Read All About It

(Tabloid Trash Headlines  are not Considered Below, but I Couldn’t Resist This One)

    The other day there was a headline in the London Free Press that caught my attention, so today our subject is ‘Headlines’. That subject is further restricted to the type of headlines one sees in newspapers; the ones that are constructed to grab your attention and provide a hint about the topic being covered. Internet headline spam, the spawn of clickbait, is not considered.

    The need for brevity, the lack of punctuation and the often odd arrangement of words can create confusing headlines, but also unintentional humour: “Criminally Insane Bill Passes”; “Sharks Stop Search for Span Collapse Victims”. The need to meet a deadline sometimes results in ones that are just incorrect: “Dewey Defeats Truman”. If you have your own deadline you can jump right to the lists of examples provided below.

     The headline in the London Free Press (on July 17) is: “13th Doctor Who is a Woman”. As one who is not paying much attention to popular culture, I assumed the article was about females who were having a hard time cracking the glass ceilings in medical clinics.

     The former editor-in-chief of the LFP, Paul Berton, who now has the same position at the Hamilton Spectator, wrote about headlines a while back after some readers complained about the use of a pun in a headline in that paper: “The Prince of Wails”. Here are some samples from his piece:

“Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons”

“Marijuana issue sent to a joint committee”

“Homicide victims rarely talk to police”

“17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree”

“Bridges help people cross rivers”

“City unsure why the sewer smells”

“Meeting on open meetings is closed”

“Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum”

“Meat head resigns”

“Man with 8 DUIs blames drinking problem”

“Parents keep kids home to protest school closure”

He concludes by reminding us that the headline writer has to generate very quickly a lot of short headlines to summarize long articles.

Columbia Journalism Review

    If you are looking for other sources, this publication is the place to begin. I used to grab copies of this magazine off the shelves and turn immediately to the inside of the back cover where one found the “Lower Case”. The entire page was full of reproduced headlines that were sent in by readers (they are all ‘real’ and were accompanied by the actual source - unlike the ‘fake’ ones I will provide below). One of my all-time favorites (which is now marginally politically correct): “Jesse Owens Dies; His Feats Live On”.

“Smoking warning labels will help save lives”

“Research finds club improves children”

“Dad says diplomat had passion for foreign affairs”

“Mother arrested after drowning”

“173 animals seized; 2 face cruelty charges”

“Chimpanzees get pregnant despite vasectomies”

“Shark bites land surfer in hospital”

“Plans made for east side crime wave”

“Army school suspends female head”

“Endangered fish holds up water plant”

“Middletown man hides crack in his buttocks”

“Man charged in electrocutions”

“Rangers' Hamilton to get shot for sore knee”

“Mrs. Ghandi stoned at rally in India”

“Nixon To Stand Pat On Watergate Tapes”

“Juvenile court to try shooting defendant”

“Shouting Match Ends Teacher's Hearing”

“Prostitutes appeal to Pope”

“High court OKs extra time for sex crimes”

“Stud tires out” (about banned studded tires)

“Experts suggest education standards might be to lofty”

Additional examples from the CJR are to be found in some sources provided below. The “Lower Case” no longer exists, but if you go to the digital Columbia Journalism Review you will still find examples under this heading: “Headlines Editors Probably Wish They Could Take Back”.

The Saturday Review of Literature

    

     This magazine is no longer published, but is still a good source for headline bloopers. Actually, bloopers were also reported from deeper within articles and readers often sent in pictures of signs and such things as examples from memos. One of the funny sign examples from back in 1969 has now become almost a sign cliché and was spotted at the neighborhood pub just last week: HAVE YOUR NEXT AFFAIR HERE. (One of my favorite business names was noticed on a hair salon somewhere in the interior of British Columbia; THE WACK AND YACK.

   Samples in The Saturday Review are found in two sections of the magazine: 1) In the column “Trade Winds” during the 1960s and 1970s (often written by  Bennett Cerf) and 2) in the section “Curmudgeon-at-Large” in the 1970s when Cleveland Amory was usually the curmudgeon.

  Examples of journalistic mistakes and oddities are often written about in other publications as well. Punch recorded this example from South Africa back in 1980: “When a man saw someone dash into a sugar plantation carrying a pair of human feet and legs, he suspected that something sinister was  happening the Durban Criminal Sessions heard yesterday” The New Yorker sometimes sprinkles samples at the page bottom under headlines like “Block That Metaphor”.

         

The NEWSEUM

    More examples will be found at the Newseum, a museum in Washington where apparently media mistakes are sprawled like graffiti on the bathroom walls. You can also find there a book full of them: Correct Me If I'm Wrong: Press Bloopers as Seen in the Newseum. “The snippets featured in the collection include errant headlines -- "Asteroid Nearly Misses Earth" (The Washington Post, June 24, 2002) -- and questionable photo captions, messed-up weather maps, curious copy and even some regrettably incorrect corrections, such as this one from the Sept. 2, 1976, Evening Herald of Rock Hill, S.C.: "Chief Blue, the last full-blooded Catawba Indian Chief died in 1959. The Evening Herald incorrectly said Wednesday that he died three years ago due to a reporting error."

FAKE HEADLINES

  Given that the news from the lamestream media is said to be mostly fake, I might as well include some samples of completely made-up and untrue headlines. They are found in abundance at “America’s Finest News Source” - The Onion.

“Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeros”

“Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia”

“Man With Heart Disease Eagerly Awaits Young Boy’s Death”

“NRA Shifts Focus From Guns to Penmanship”

“Desperate Vegetarians Declare Cows Plants”

“Black Box Reveals TWA Flight 800 Passengers Missed End of Dragonheart”

“Nation’s Educators Alarmed by Poorly Written Teen Suicide Notes”

“Massive Oil Spill Results in Improved Wildlife Viscosity”

“Tractor Pulls Now Number-One Use For U.S. Tractors”

“Viagra Giving Hope to Thousands of Struggling Stand-up Comedians”

“Colorado Judge Imposes Ban on Same-Sex Friendships”

“Who Will Kill the Roaches After the Apocalypse?”

“Great Books of Western Civilization Used to Accent Den”

“Taco Bell Launches New ‘Morning After’ Burrito”

“‘Midwest’ Discovered Between East, West Coasts”

“Islamic Fundamentalists Condemn Casual Day”

“New Remote Control Can be Operated By Remote”

P.S.

Some bonus headlines for those who read this far:

Here are two that are rather unclear: “Climber Who Cut Off Arm to Escape Speaking at MSU” AP August 29, 2011. (about the guy who cut off his arm to escape from a cave);

“Garbage Truck Lands on Saturn”, CBC May 28, 2012. (the Saturn was a car in Edmonton)

Others:

“For Towns Hold Elections”

Times-Record, Denton, Md. April 27, 2011.

“Pedestrian Deaths Largely Flat in U.S., Maryland”

Baltimore Sun, May 7, 2013

“Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules”

Sunday Business Post, Dublin, April 3, 2011

“Women’s Body Seeks Member”

Montreal Gazette, July 30, 1981

“Church Member Donates Organ to St. Aloysius”

“6 Year Old Girl Just Found After 26 Years”

“Northfield Plans to Plan Strategic Plan”

“Amnesty Champions Tortured Girl”

“Defendant's Speech Ends in Long Sentence”

Sources:

“Writing headlines is an art ... ... Unfortunately, not everyone who writes them is a Rembrandt,” Paul Berton, The Hamilton Spectator, August 3, 2013.

He also covered the subject in: “We regret the error; Mistakes inevitably happen, but we do our best,” Paul Berton,  The Hamilton Spectator, May 14,  2011.

“Crash Blossoms,” by Ben Zimmer, NYT Magazine, Jan. 27, 2010.

(See also the website Crash Blossoms).

True journalists will appreciate: “Headlines: The Unappreciated Art,” by Lynn Ludlow,

In ETC: A Review of General Semantics, Vol. 45, No. 3 (Fall 1988), pp. 236-245

Books:

In addition to the book mentioned in the Newseum section above see the following:
For two collections of headlines from the Columbia Journalism Review see:

Red Tape Holds up New Bridge

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim, and Other Flubs from the Nation's Press

Regret the Error: How Media Mistakes Pollute the Press and Imperil Free Speech, by Craig Silverman.

Double Bonus Source - A place where you can read lots of old magazines like The Saturday Review of Literature. http://www.unz.org/ (Don’t tell everyone).

Many are hoping for a headline in the very near future that will look somewhat like this one: