Sunday, 5 January 2025

LARGE Larcenies


 Not Petty Thefts
  I had hoped to get this information to you before the end of the year so as to call your attention to some big stories you may have missed. Now that we have started a new one, I will suggest these past events may portend some trends to which we should not look forward.
  There are two reasons for this subject, apart from the sheer magnitude of the crimes committed. The first is that I will read stories about anything these days to avoid all the political ones. The second has to do with
CHICKENS and I will begin with them because most of the work has already been done. If you don't want to bother reading all of what follows, the points are, I guess, that: 1)Very large quantities of things are being stolen; 2) Probably because prices have risen, while wages have not, and 3) because Organized Crime is involved so you can get rid of very large quantities without much trouble (like all of the fancy automobiles now missing from Toronto and which aren't even included below.) So much stuff is missing, I will just proceed in point form by commodities, most of which are edible. 

                                              Nor Mere Pilfering
The Chickens
   I still don't understand how you can steal 30,000 chicks, come back and steal 15,000 more and get away with them and it. See: "The Great Huron County Chicken Heist(s)".

Books
  Books are not much valued these days, unless they are valuable ones. See: "The Great British Book Burglary". 

Syrup
   This one happened a while back, but it is Canadian and it was such a big story that you may be watching "The Sticky" which just started on Amazon Prime Video.
See: "In $18 Million Theft, Victim Was a Canadian Maple Syrup Cartel," Ian Austen, NYT, Dec. 19, 2012. 
"It was an inside job of sorts. Thieves with access to a warehouse and a careful plan loaded up trucks and, over time, made off with $18 million of a valuable commodity...Over time, the thieves helped themselves to six million pounds of syrup."

Gold
 
They cannot find your luggage at Pearson, but thieves were able to locate and make off with over $20 million in gold. There is even a Wiki entry for: "Toronto Pearson International Airport Heist." Perhaps this is where COSTCO is getting its product: See, "Gold At Costco!!"

Cheese
 
In Vancouver. "On Thursday, B.C. RCMP revealed they'd recently foiled an attempted cheese heist at a Whole Foods in North Vancouver. They'd been on patrol Sept. 29 when they found a cart full of cheese outside the grocery store. A suspect fled on foot, leaving $12,800 worth of cheese behind."
  In the UK. "This most recent attempted heist comes as the cheese world is still reeling after a U.K. cheese heist that saw con artists make off with more than £300,000 (or more than $540,000 Cdn) in clothbound, award-winning cheddar. A 63-year-old man was recently arrested and released on bail. 
The cheese — 950 wheels of cheddar weighing 22 tonnes, stolen from Neal's Yard Dairy in London — has not been recovered."
 In the Netherlands. In 2022, thieves stole 161 wheels of cheese worth about $32,000 Cdn from a Dutch cheese farmer, according to the New York Times. Dairy farms in the Netherlands are frequently targeted, with the website Dutch News reporting in 2016 that 8,500 kilograms of Dutch cheese was stolen in the previous year, worth about $135,000.
 In Italy. "Italy is also often a target for Parmigiano Reggiano thieves. In 2016, CBS reported that about $9.7 million worth of the hard Italian cheese had been stolen in the past two years."
 In the U.S. "The U.S. isn't immune, with 20,000 pounds of fresh Wisconsin cheese worth about $64,000 nabbed by "cheese bandits" in 2016."
 In Canada. "...thieves made off with $187,000 worth of cheese from Saputo Dairy Products in Tavistock, Ont., in 2019."

Butter
 
In Canada. "Scott Tracey, a spokesman with Guelph Police Service, said there have been eight or nine butter thefts over the last year, including one theft last December worth $1,000. In October, two men walked into a local grocer and filled their carts with cases of butter valued at $936, and four days later a Guelph grocer lost four cases valued at $958."
"Police in Brantford, Ont., are also investigating the theft of about $1,200 worth of butter from a store on Nov. 4."
In Russia: "Butter prices soar in Russia amid surging inflation in war economy
'The Armageddon with butter is escalating,' Russian economists claim on Telegram
Thomson Reuters. "The steep price rise has prompted a spate of butter thefts at some supermarkets, according to Russian media, and some retailers have started putting individual blocks of butter inside plastic containers to deter shoplifting."
  Perhaps this is where they are getting all the butter for the "Butter Sculptures."

Pies - They Are Even Stealing Dessert
  "
Michelin Chef Appeals to Christmas Spirit of Thieves Who Stole 2,500 Pies:
“I know you’re a criminal, but maybe just do something nice because it’s Christmas,” said British chef Tommy Banks, after thieves stole a van full of pies," The Washington Post, Dec. 3, 2024.

Buckets - Big Time Bucket Theft
 
"A Bucket Mystery: Compost Container Thefts Baffle D.C. Residents: The number of buckets stolen since the District program began last year has startled administrators," The Washington Post, Dec. 4, 2024.
 "Each of the 9,000 households participating in the Department of Public Works’ curbside composting collection program is issued a five-gallon bucket with a screw-top lid in which to place household compost for weekly pickup. A large orange sticker wrapped around the bucket identifies it as containing food waste and as “Property of District of Columbia Government.”
  But soon after the program launched in September 2023, the heists began. From sidewalks and alleys, front steps and backyards, the plastic carriers went missing. Slowly at first. Then much faster.
  By the end of the year-long pilot program, approximately 4,000 buckets had been  stolen, according to DPW.
   Widespread compost container theft was not something the agency anticipated when it launched the project, DPW Director Timothy Spriggs said in an interview. “And definitely not to the degree of the actual number of buckets that have been stolen,” Spriggs said. “So that has taken me by somewhat of a surprise.”
The motive for stealing such an ordinary, relatively inexpensive item remains a mystery."

BONUS - Bourbon. Over the Christmas holidays a neighbour involved (legitimately) in the booze business told us about a big theft of the stuff. She wasn't lying and you can easily learn about "Pappy Gate" which resulted in a lot of "Pappy Van Winkle" being stolen from the Buffalo Trace distillery. Like the missing cars in Toronto, it won't even be mentioned here.

Post Script: About The Illustration At The Top
 
I came up with the title "Large Larcenies" and thought I would check and see if it was frequently used and that you might accuse me of title plagiarism. It is not much used and one of the few references is to the source of the illustration above.
The New Yorker, Nov.16, 1935.
  I suppose the good conclusion one can reach is that there have always been thieves ready to steal and that large larcenies are not a startling new form of criminality. 

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