Loyal subscribers know that I generally eschew current events (they also know the meaning of the word ‘eschew’ - for the rest of you, it means ‘avoid’), because my followers would already know about them and, more importantly, recent news items are eschewed (avoided) mostly because they are troubling and usually begin with a word that starts with the letter “T” (this blog is mainly read by U.S. citizens and Canadians who will be able to figure out what that word is.)
First-time readers will not know that my posts are typically not funny. If you happen upon a humorous one, the content will surely have been taken from a comic, just as the odd clever bits were stolen from someone cleverer. So, to be clear, whatever I come up with below is deadly serious and will likely not be very clever.
I am violating my rule of not discussing current events or the Royal Couple because all the news headlines now begin with a “C” word rather than the “T” one, although the “C” word is often preceded by a “T”one. In this instance, a short explanation of the “C” word may be required for my readers who are on the other side of a border which is now both real and linguistic. In Canada the “C” word stands for 'Coronavirus' or 'Co-Vid 19' and it is referring to a virus which is causing what was an epidemic, but which is now a pandemic which may be catastrophic, or not. The same virus in the United States is called the 'Chinese Virus' because, as we all know, the Chinese caused it and the Americans are more direct.
Finally - The Duct Cleaning Offer
The news is depressing and I will not attempt to attract you by pretending to present some that is ‘Breaking” . Everyone is aware that the virus is transmitted most directly to us by our furnaces through the heating ducts. If you have been reading the news and not hanging up on the robo-call duct-cleaning guy, you will know this. It is tempting here to offer some breaking news and say that the Chinese are directly responsible, but I am unable to do so. I did find out, however, that Reliance Home Comfort was acquired by Cheung Kong Property Holdings LTD back in 2017.My purpose is more uplifting in that I will offer here some rare good news. It is that, during these trying times, I will be a responsible citizen and do my bit by offering, FOR FREE, to clean the ducts of the first 350 readers who respond (there are some, discussed below, who are not eligible to receive this offer.) After a visit from me, you will no longer have to worry about contagion and you will have a good response for the duct-cleaning robo-caller.
Those of you who participated in the "Great Toilet Paper Bubble" are excluded from the offer above. You are clearly poor citizens who should be penalized. On the other hand, you are also clearly ignorant ones, so I will allow you to take advantage of my other offer.
While you were raiding all the toilet paper isles, I made a run for the Ex-Lax and have cornered the market. Months from now, when you are sitting there feeling guilty, surrounded by stacks of toilet paper, I will be able to assist you in getting the diarrhea you deserve. Limit, three packages per customer.
Post Script: (the usual bonus stuff for subscribers)
I avoid the headlines and politics because they are awful. I only take a peek occasionally and probably miss all the headlines that are positive and reveal how kind people are and how we are all rallying to whatever flag it is we are flying. Some results from a brief look recently confirmed my views:
Headline -”Canada Post to Reduce Hours, Install Clear Barriers in Response to COVID-19”.
Among the questions that could be asked -Who knew that there was still a post office and that people got mail or that delivering those flyers was that dangerous? This is the first news I have seen about the Posties since they boycotted the Postal Code.
Some family members on the West Coast decided to retreat to an island to get away from it all. Even though they have owned property there for years and it is a large piece which allowed for a lot of distance, they noticed that the residents were less than welcoming and they felt like hippies from the sixties. That happened in Lotus Land where people are supposed to be mellow. The same thing is happening elsewhere according to the headlines I found:
"Seeking Relief from Coronavirus, Urban Brits Flee to the Countryside, Where Locals Beg Them to Please Stay Away,"
LONDON — Like refugees fleeing a coming contagion, anxious, stir-crazy Brits poured out of the cities and into the countryside over recent days, to postcard-perfect hamlets and wind-swept islands, seeking solace or safety in the mountains, lakes and shore....
They were not welcome. The emphatic message from the locals: Go away.
‘Stay On the Mainland’: Tensions Grow as Affluent City Dwellers Fearing Coronavirus Retreat to Second homes [Cape Cod, New England]
"In recent weeks, wealthy city dwellers hoping to escape the novel coronavirus have been fleeing to their second homes, exacerbating long-standing tensions between locals and summer residents. While those from out of town feel they have the right to use property that they own and pay taxes on, year-round residents worry that the new arrivals could be carrying the disease, and that local hospitals aren’t equipped to handle an outbreak."
Apparently even some Southerners are becoming less hospitable - "North Carolina's Outer Banks Closed off to Nonresidents".
Sources:
The two recent headlines are from the Washington Post and the Outer Banks situation is found on ABC News and elsewhere.
And I did not make up the Great Postal Code Boycott of 1972. See: "A Chilly Reception for the Postal Code," CBC Archives, Oct. 21, 2018 and the Wikipedia entry for "Postal Codes in Canada."
Post Script: (the usual bonus stuff for subscribers)
I avoid the headlines and politics because they are awful. I only take a peek occasionally and probably miss all the headlines that are positive and reveal how kind people are and how we are all rallying to whatever flag it is we are flying. Some results from a brief look recently confirmed my views:
Headline -”Canada Post to Reduce Hours, Install Clear Barriers in Response to COVID-19”.
Among the questions that could be asked -Who knew that there was still a post office and that people got mail or that delivering those flyers was that dangerous? This is the first news I have seen about the Posties since they boycotted the Postal Code.
Some family members on the West Coast decided to retreat to an island to get away from it all. Even though they have owned property there for years and it is a large piece which allowed for a lot of distance, they noticed that the residents were less than welcoming and they felt like hippies from the sixties. That happened in Lotus Land where people are supposed to be mellow. The same thing is happening elsewhere according to the headlines I found:
"Seeking Relief from Coronavirus, Urban Brits Flee to the Countryside, Where Locals Beg Them to Please Stay Away,"
LONDON — Like refugees fleeing a coming contagion, anxious, stir-crazy Brits poured out of the cities and into the countryside over recent days, to postcard-perfect hamlets and wind-swept islands, seeking solace or safety in the mountains, lakes and shore....
They were not welcome. The emphatic message from the locals: Go away.
‘Stay On the Mainland’: Tensions Grow as Affluent City Dwellers Fearing Coronavirus Retreat to Second homes [Cape Cod, New England]
"In recent weeks, wealthy city dwellers hoping to escape the novel coronavirus have been fleeing to their second homes, exacerbating long-standing tensions between locals and summer residents. While those from out of town feel they have the right to use property that they own and pay taxes on, year-round residents worry that the new arrivals could be carrying the disease, and that local hospitals aren’t equipped to handle an outbreak."
Apparently even some Southerners are becoming less hospitable - "North Carolina's Outer Banks Closed off to Nonresidents".
Sources:
The two recent headlines are from the Washington Post and the Outer Banks situation is found on ABC News and elsewhere.
And I did not make up the Great Postal Code Boycott of 1972. See: "A Chilly Reception for the Postal Code," CBC Archives, Oct. 21, 2018 and the Wikipedia entry for "Postal Codes in Canada."
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