Very Long Names

Very Long Names

    I have been away from this blog for a bit, busily painting the kitchen. I now return with a cheap post which should be easily done, allowing me to limber up for longer, more thoughtful blogging exercises.

    While waiting for the paint to dry between coats, I was allowed some time off for reading. In doing so, I ran across some lengthy monikers.

Bulwer-Lytton

    You are highly likely to be aware of Bulwer because of the opening paragraph of his novel Paul Clifford and the words “It was a dark and stormy night:...” Every year since the early 1980s, the jokesters in the English Department at San Jose State University have sponsored the “Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest” which awards prizes to those who construct the most awful opening sentence. Find out more about the contest here.

    You may not have been aware that the baronet’s full name is Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton. By the way, if you so desire, you can get married or attend a rock concert at his estate - Knebworth House.

  Supposedly there is a picture of him sucking on an opium pipe “the size of an alpine horn”. I couldn’t find it. This is the best I could do.

Leslie Charteris

    The books by this British writer may not be familiar to you, but you may recognize “Simon Templar” or “The Saint”, or you may have vague memories of Roger Moore in the TV series with that name. If you have a look at the Wikipedia entry for Charteris you will see that he was a talented, handsome and interesting man.

    You do not learn there that he was born Leslie Charles Boyer Yin, but later changed it to Leslie Charles Bowyer Charteris Ian.

Mary Rutgers McCrea

    If one is interested in having many names, I suppose women have had some advantage in this respect. I suppose, as well, that before the feminist hyphenation of the names of married couples, one could simply add the name of one husband after another. In this case, the author of New York’s Making ended up as Mary de Peyster Rutgers McCrea (Conger) Vanamee.

The Duchess of Alba

    My interest in long names dates to the death of the The Duchess back in 2014. It is likely that the obituarist only recently finished typing in her name. She was quite the “Dame” and I encourage you to google her. It is worth doing for the images alone. She must have used Meg Ryan’s plastic surgeon.

     She was not only well-named, she was well-titled:  “She is 14 times a Spanish grandee, 5 times a duchess, once a countess-duchess, 18 times a marchioness, 18 times a countess and once a viscountess. This is due to the complicated combinations of nationalities and marriages intertwined within her ancestry.” (Guiness Book of World Records).

    Her full name is: María del Rosario Cayetana Paloma Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Fernanda Teresa Francisca de Paula Lourdes Antonia Josefa Fausta Rita Castor Dorotea Santa Esperanza Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, Falco y Gurtubay.

Gimmick Names

    After doing all this work for you I realized that someone probably already has. So I googled and quickly found the “Top Five People With the Longest Names.” Only one of the names (Picasso) is legitimate, however, and the one chosen by the person formerly named “David Fearn” is ludicrous. One wonders what such people do at the license bureau or passport office.

    And there is the case of Edward Lear. At the site dedicated to him (which is well-worth looking at) you will find that sometimes he introduced himself as “Mr Abebika kratoponoko Prizzikalo Kattefello Ablegorabalus Ableborinto phashyph” or “Chakonoton the Cozovex Dossi Fossi Sini Tomentilla Coronilla Polentilla Battledore & Shuttlecock Derry down Derry Dumps” which he based on Aldiborontiphoskyphorniostikos.

What About Wilbertine?

    As this was about to go to post, I recalled that I had in my notes something about this woman. She wrote a book called The Snows of Yester-Year, which should not be confused with Rezzori’s The Snows of Yesteryear. She is likely very interesting, but I don’t have time left to pursue her. Her papers are held in the archives at Columbia University. Her names at the end:

Wilbertine Nesselrode Teters Worden Wilson.

P.S. Very Long Last Names

    I just ran across a couple of very long, last names in one footnote. If Guinness wants to have a category dedicated to “Bibliographic Citations With the Longest Author Names”, they can start with this one:
Meenakshisundaram, R., Thirumalaikolundusubramanian, P., Walusinski, O., Muthusundari, A., and Sweni, S. 2010. “Associated Movements in Hemiplegic Limbs During Yawning,” In O. Walusinski (ed.), The Mystery of Yawning in Physiology and Disease, p.134-139.

(You are likely curious about what I am reading that led to that yawner and here is the answer: Curious Behavior: Yawning, Laughing, Hiccupping and Beyond, by Robert R. Provine - a very interesting book, by the way).