The Human Suffering Index

     We have yet to get through "our severest winter commonly called spring." Although the meteorologists here have stopped warning us about the Wind Chill Factor, they will soon be sounding the alarm about the Humidity Index. Those at the Weather Channel have only been able to get through these drab doldrums by, either suggesting that great storms are on the horizon, or by showing us terrible weather from elsewhere. My wife has suggested that we need a new index - the Human Suffering Index - which will better measure the extent of our meteorological misery. It offers the extra benefit of allowing those of us who have experienced these dull and damp days to identify as "Victims" or "Survivors" so we can be like everyone else.


 

CODE RED 

     I thought it was just the weather people on the Mother Channel (the CBC for my southern readers) who issued dire warnings about being wizened by the wind chill or scorched by the sun if the temperature was a degree-or-two below or above the number on the thermostat. Apparently, however, the practice of dramatizing the weather is widespread. We prefer our weather alerts to be alarming, just as we want our news to be breaking. Of course, the bosses at headquarters know this, even though most of them aren’t meteorologists. Recently, those in charge at the Sinclair Broadcast Group sent a memo to the stations they own suggesting that labelling most of the Weather Alerts as “Code Red", would surely be a good idea. Ratings metrics may have played more of a role than meteorology in the decision making.


     The weather guy at the Sinclair station in Springfield, Illinois is either a fan of Chicken Little, or a reader of Aesop’s Fables. Or perhaps he is just an honest weather guy who thinks that constantly crying wolf is not in the public interest. The good news is that he told his viewers the truth. The bad news is that he was fired.

Sources:
"A TV Meteorologist Objected to Management’s ‘Code Red’ Orders in on-air Apology. He Might Be Out of a Job", By Matthew Cappucci Washington Post, June 7, 2019.
"More Criticism for Sinclair Over 'Code Red' Weather Warnings, David Zurawik,
The Baltimore Sun, June 17, 2019.
"The Baltimore-based Sinclair Broadcast Group has been in the news the last two weeks for the controversial firing of a meteorologist at one of its stations who called out the company on-air over what he characterized as the hyped use of “code red” weather warnings.
But the use of “code red” as described by Crain seems an especially egregious way to use fear to try to drive ratings, and it goes to the heart of what journalism is and isn’t supposed to do."

Post Script:
    The clever quote about spring is from Cowper as loyal readers will know. See "The Dead of Winter."
   My wife insists she thought of the Human Suffering Index and apparently she did. A search found an International Human Suffering Index, but it is unrelated to the weather.

   Speaking of "indexes": A while back, I came up with the "Pajama Index" which indicates that seeing a lot of mid-30s citizens at mid-day in PJs sitting at a Tim Hortons is not a good thing, economically speaking. I searched to see if such an index existed and found one. I probably read the article so some other Irish person likely deserves the credit for creating the PJ Index: "The Irish Economy’s Rise Was Steep, and the Fall Was Fast," Landon Thomas, New York Times, Jan.3, 2009. “Social workers in Moyross refer to the “pajama index”: the more men and women one sees who do not take the time and care to dress for the day, the worse the economic situation tends to be.”
   The sinister Sinclair corporation owns a large number of U.S. broadcast stations. If you are conservative, you should be happy about that.

Canadian Content - The Humidex is a Canadian creation. Perhaps it is yet another thing we should apologize for, in that the humidity is one thing Canadians cannot tolerate and because it gave rise to the too oft-heard whine, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

   

The University of the Unusual (5)

Spontaneous Human Combustion

   This subject has been sitting on my back burner for a while, but two recent mentions of it have given me cause to offer you two unusual subjects in a row. The first occurrence is noted in this quotation: “By the time the 2020 election kicks into highest gear, Trump will have been president for more than three years, barring his impeachment, his resignation or his spontaneous combustion (with him, you never know).” The second reference to SHC is found in the introduction to an article which bears the intriguing title, "The Lucrative Black Market in Human Fat." You are probably thinking that I read only the tabloids, but the quotation is from the New York Times and the article is found in The Atlantic. Now you are probably wondering if you could suddenly burst into flames or are perhaps hoping that Trump will.

   It is highly unlikely that Trump will ignite, nor will you unless you choose to self-immolate in Lafayette Square as an act of protest. It is likely, however, that you are familiar with SHC if you read fiction (Bleak House) and you may have encountered historical accounts. The article about fat noted above begins with this one:

"One night in 1731, Cornelia di Bandi burst into flames. When the 62-year-old Italian countess was found the next morning, her head and torso had been reduced to ash and grease.

Only her arms and legs remained intact. After examining what was left of her body, a local physician concluded, in a report cited years later, that the conflagration “was caused in her entrails” by the variety of combustible materials to be found there, including alcohol and fat, “an oily liquid … of an easily combustible nature.” An early instance of what would come to be known as “spontaneous human combustion..."

One also occasionally runs across references to SHC in the current news; there was a recent case in Edmonton.

   Does spontaneous human combustion happen? I suggest to you that it does not. I could go on, but once again, the Wikipedia entry is very good and I will provide other references. You can decide for yourself while I go looking for an unusual subject that is not covered in Wikipedia.

Flames and Flatulence

   
   
   Before you relax and return the fire extinguisher you should know there is some truth to the stories your buddies told about fart lighting. Some of us do produce "combustible levels of methane" and there are cases where there have been minor explosions when patients are undergoing surgery. Coffins also have been known to explode. 

   Even though I am continually scooped by Wikipedia I can at least offer you unusual and interesting subjects and provide the sources to back them up. I will even offer below a literature review of colonic gas explosions to ensure you are getting your money's worth.

Sources: 

The quotation about Trump is from Frank Bruni and is found in the NYT, Jan.13, 2019. The article in The Atlantic is found on May 26, 2019 and is adapted from a forthcoming book by Chrisopher E. Forth: Fat: A Cultural History of the Stuff of Life. The recent Canadian example: "Man Woke Up on Fire: Edmonton Police," Kevin Maimann, Edmonton Sun, July 19, 2014.

Apart from the Wikipedia entry see: "How Dickens Fueled Spontaneous Combustion, Truthers," Sam Kean, Mental Floss, Dec. 4, 2014 and “A Fiery Death: Murder Or ‘Spontaneous Combustion’? Joe Nickell From: Skeptical Briefs, Volume 22.3, February 4, 2013.

For a recent 'surgical explosion' see: "A Japanese Woman Passed Gas During Laser Surgery: She Was Badly Burned," Travis M. Andrews, Washington Post, Nov.1, 2016.

For the promised literature review:

-Spiros D Ladas, George Karamanolis, and Emmanuel Ben-Soussan, "Colonic Gas Explosion During Therapeutic Colonoscopy With Electrocautery," World J Gastroenterol. 2007 Oct 28; 13(40): 5295–5298.

“A systematic review of the medical research published in English language from 1952 to October 2006 was performed, by using MEDLINE, SCOPUS, SCIRUS, and EMBASE to obtain studies published on colonic gas explosion. The search terms included were combinations of "colonic explosion" or "gas explosion" with "surgery", "electrocautery", "polypectomy", and "argon plasma coagulation".

A total of 20 cases of colonic gas explosion were identified.

Post Script:

There have been unusual reports about an Indian infant who has combusted a few times. See: "Doctors Suspect Rare Disease Might Have Afflicted Indian Child," Anupama Chandrasekaran, and there have been additional follow-up articles.

For those of you who are hypochondriacs, I discovered a series of books covering all kinds of maladies and ailments that you will need to buy.  The one pertinent for this post (and all the others begin with "Curbside Consultation...):