Fourth Leaders

    I have been meaning to get around to this subject for a while since it is a subject about which it is difficult to find information.  It is one of the few topics for which there is no entry in Wikipedia. That may mean, of course, that it is not interesting or important enough to be included.

    I ran across the phrase “Fourth Leaders” a few years back when reading a biography of Peter Fleming, the English author and brother of the arguably less interesting Ian. One learns from the book that, among many other things, Peter wrote Fourth Leaders for The Times. “Leader” is a term in English journalism that essentially refers to a “leading article” or “editorial” and although the phrase “Fourth Leader” could be applied broadly, it is generally associated only with a particular type of essay published only in The TImes.

    I hasten to add that if you go looking for them in The TImes you will not easily find them. They no longer exist and when they did they were not labelled “Fourth Leaders”. Nor were they always the fourth leading article on any particular page, either above or below the fold. As one reader notes: “Oh, by the way, at the outset I spoke of a fourth leader. Lest any literal-minded reader should take the trouble to tell me that it was fifth in the order of going in, let me point out that ‘fourth leader,” like “late night final,” is a trade and not a mathematical term.” (Yorkshire Post and Leeds Intelligencer, December 22,1953, p.4.)

    You will recognize them, however, since the Fourth Leader was the only humorous and whimsical article to be found in “The Thunderer” (as The TImes was called). I hasten again to add here that the Fourth Leaders” are ‘funny’ in a particular Anglo-arcane-allusive way; you are probably going to loudly chortle only if your Latin is good. As one writer notes: “Fourth Leaders would toss off literary quotations and assume that Latin tags were stored away in the rusty compartments of the Times’ universal mind. Oxbridge dons scanned the day’s Fourth Leader before descending to tutorials. The Fourth Leader was unashamedly elitist.”

The Rise and Fall of the Fourth Leaders

    The origin is traced back to 1914 where the purpose of the Fourth Leaders is also provided:

    “Humbly beg for a light leading article daily…” Chief.

Thus Northcliffe who in 1908 had purchased The TImes telegraphed the Editor on January 25, 1914. Such requests from Olympus however euphemistically phrased were ignored at peril and the following day  the ‘light’ (later ‘the third’, later still ‘the fourth’) leader appeared. The innovation was resisted by some of the old guard in the Printing House Square but gradually the readers took these capsules of light relief to their hearts; for over 50 years they were a British institution. Like other edifices propping up the country the ‘fourth’ was eventually deemed to have served its purpose. It was decreed that it carried within the seeds of a small (and vanishing) esoteric club - an anomaly in the new age of white-hot technology. On January 1967 it received its conge.” (“On This Day: February 23, 1914,” in The Times, Feb. 23, 1985. p.9.)

   Since the source above is from The Times one assumes that the first Fourth Leader is found in 1914, but another indicates that they are found from 1922 to 1966 (Brewer's Dictionary of Modern Phrase & Fable, 2nd ed.). As well, there are a few articles about Fourth Leaders  in The Times in the early 1980s and one reader, lamenting their loss as “a disaster”, claims to have spotted one in 1973. (“Old Two Hundredth”, Brian G.D. Salt, Feb. 10, 1984.) Another letter writer, not lamenting the loss, thinks they are gone: “For generations the fourth leader was an immutable daily custom, undertaken often more with a sense of obligation than delight by writers whose thoughts were in the Balkans or with the Fleet. Writing for a readership much narrower than today’s, they produced an almost private genre, laced with whimsical nostalgia, literary allusions and rueful comment on everyday life which they could count on the reader recognizing - a genre now happily completely extinct.” (“A Ha'p'orth Of Difference”, The Times,  Feb. 4, 1984).

Books of Fourth Leaders

    Over the years (mainly in the 1950s), compilations of Fourth Leaders were published by The Times, usually with the titles The Times Fourth Leaders [year] or Fourth Leaders From The TImes [year]. I did find one from 1929 with the title, Light and Leading: Being Light Leaders Reprinted from The Times. Some of the notices for the books illustrate their appeal:

From 1955:

“They  [Fourth Leaders] are meant to be enjoyed-or skipped-and passed on-if they have amused you-to a kindred spirit. They are chosen from the daily columns of The Times where they appear to remind readers that whatever grave things may be happening in the world, there is no reason for not observing life with a smile. They take you round the seasons, asking no more of you than to give them a glance for a few minutes - and to be amused with the writers if you feel in the mood…. Put this little book by your bed, and let it tempt you every now and then to stay awake for a few extra minutes then to fall asleep in a nice relaxed mood. Or fall asleep as your eyes have got half-way down the page and your drowsy mind is half-way through a sentence. The writers will be with you in either case. All that they ask is that you should think kindly of enough of them to say that they have helped you to take things easily in a hard world.” Berwickshire News and General Advertiser, December 13, 1955, p.6.

From 1952:

“There are few people who daily buy the world’s most famous newspaper The Times who can say in honesty that they have read every word of it. But there must be a very small number of the paper’s readers who go to bed without finding the rewarding minutes in which to study and be delightfully entertained by the fourth leaders, those usually somewhat lighthearted contributions on any topic under the sun which happens to take the fancy of the leader-writer. These essays seldom offer a serious solution to the great problems of the day, but they will certainly solve the problem of selecting a Christmas present for a discerning friend or relative - for some 80 of the leaders have been collated in Fourth Leaders, a volume selling at 9s and published by the Times Publishing Co. Ltd.”, Hartlepool Northern Daily Mail, December 1, 1952, p.1.

  It appears that such books were bought: “I grew up assuming that all homes contained books; that this was normal. It was normal, too, that they were valued for their usefulness: to learn from at school, to dispense and verify information, and to entertain during the holidays. My father had collections of Times Fourth Leaders; my mother might enjoy a Nancy Mitford. “ (Julian Barnes, “My Life as a Bibliophile,” The Guardian, June 29, 2012.)

  

    It appears, as well, that Fourth Leader books were also promoted in the United States. A piece about the 1950 edition is found in Life magazine under the title “A Mouse for Milady’s Hat,” (Dec. 4, 1950): Fourth Leaders are “...so called because the items in question usually fall fourth in the sequence of editorials, or leaders, in each issue. In them the art of being unimportant is preserved and practiced with a charm and skill rare in our day. They are short. They are literate. At their best they gleam with gentle humor and are rich in pithy sentences which at once enthral and satisfy the reader.”

    On the same day, this is found in Time magazine:

“The Press: Your Head Is on Fire

"Some were pleased, some were shocked, none remained indifferent on hearing that the Vice-Chancellor of Oxford University, accompanied by his spouse, is to take off tomorrow from, one of the quadrangles of Christ Church in a helicopter."

To the uninitiated, a lighthearted essay on such a topic might seem out of place amid the somber rumblings of the London Times's editorial page. But generations of Britons have learned to expect just such things in the Thunderer's "fourth leader," i.e., the item usually fourth in sequence on its editorial page, an unfailing source of quiet, literate, gentle humor. Last week, for the second year in a row, the Times published a collection (Fourth Leaders from the Times; the Times Publishing Co., London; 8/6) of the year's best work of its anonymous editorial writers. Covering everything from stamp collecting to new arrivals at the zoo, the fourth leaders not only range the quirks of British life but also have an occasional smile for the quirks of journalism.”

   Although such essays were meant to be “light”  and humorous they were also supposed to be “elegantly-turned” and Peter Fleming’s first submission was rejected:

“My Dear Fleming,

    I am afraid this will not do. You must study our leader style rather more closely. Seven paragraphs is too many for a short article of this kind, and the editorial ‘we’ (which you employ more than once) is always a nightmare to me. Have another shot.

Yours sincerely, Geoffrey Dawson.”

He went on to write many Fourth Leaders over the years (although all of the Fourth Leaders are unsigned) and if you want to see a successful one read “Shaving Time” which is provided in Peter Fleming: A Biography, by Duff Hart-Davis.

Sources: It is very difficult to locate Fourth Leaders in The Times unless you have a specific reference to one, so finding a collection of them in a book is the best option. Here are a few from The Times I am aware of: “The Far-Fetched Flea,” (Nov. 6, 1951, p.7); “A Self-Made Cat,” (Aug.26, 1952, p.5); “Windmills,” Aug. 6, 1947,p.5). In 1955 there is a funny one about a chap who lost interest in continuing his swim across the Channel as he neared the French coast - “Mid-Channel Musings” (Sept.9, 1955, p.11). Apparently those musings prompted him to try again and that resulted in a follow-up fourth - “Fourth Leaders to the Fore,” (Oct. 25, 1958).

While it was Northcliffe’s demand for something “light” that led to their publication, credit for the creation of Fourth Leaders is sometimes given to the colonial editor of The Times, Douglas Woodruff. He later became editor of The Tablet and apparently his column “Talking at Random” is very Fourth Leader-like (see his obituary in The Times, March 11, 1978.)

As noted, the Fourth Leaders were published anonymously, but some authors (like Fleming) are known. Another was Joyce Anstruther who “wrote 60 Fourth Leaders for the newspaper between 1938 and 1940.” She was also the creator of Mrs. Miniver and wrote under the name Jan Struther. (see: “Made Famous for Soppiness,” David Hughes, The Spectator, Nov. 24, 2001.)

Polluted Rivers

Tennessee Rivers

    It was my intention to write often about rivers in this blog, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. I will pause here, however, to post a short note about one river since I was reminded of it by a recent article in the New York Times. The article was a depressing one and the number of such articles is likely to increase as the funding to the EPA decreases.

   It had to do with coal ash and the toxic sludge that seeps into the ground or escapes from the coal ash disposal ponds into rivers. The piece was mainly about the Gallatin Fossil Plant on the Cumberland River, pollution and lawsuits. There was also mention of an earlier episode in 2008 when  “an ash pond dike at its Kingston Fossil Plant in eastern Tennessee collapsed, releasing just over a billion gallons of coal ash water into the Emory River, which flows into two other rivers, including the Tennessee. The slurry released in that spill, which has been called the largest environmental disaster of its kind, buried 300 acres of land in toxic sludge. That sludge was taken to an unlined landfill in Alabama, just outside a predominantly African-American community, prompting challenges under federal civil rights law.”

The Emory RIver

    I recently read a book which mentions the Emory River and describes it just about 150 years ago. The following description is taken from a book by John Muir - A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf. I will say more about the book and rivers later.

This will serve to remind us of what we have lost:

September 12.[1867] Awoke drenched with mountain mist, which made a grand show, as it moved away before the hot sun….Obtained fine views of a wide, open country, and distant flanking ridges and spurs. Crossed a wide cool stream [Emory River], a branch of the Clinch River. There is nothing more eloquent in Nature than a mountain stream, and this is the first I ever saw. Its banks are luxuriantly peopled with rare and lovely flowers and overarching trees, making one of Nature’s coolest and most hospitable places. Every tree, every flower, every ripple and eddy of this lovely stream seemed solemnly to feel the presence of the Creator. Lingered in this sanctuary a long time thanking the Lord with all my heart for his goodness in allowing me to enjoy it.

Sources: The current article: “2 Tennessee Cases Bring Coal’s Hidden Hazard to Light,” Tatiana Schlossbergapril, NYT,  April 15, 2017. The 2008 article: “Coal Ash Spill Revives Issue of Its Hazards”

By Shaila Dewan, NYT  Dec.. 24, 2008. (Christmas eve, no less). The photograph is by Aubrey Bodine who worked for the Baltimore Sun. The Patapsco River is surely poisoned as well.

The University of the Unusual (1)

(Forthcoming posts under the title above will all involve strange and sensational subjects. Given my blogging performance past it is safe to say the series will consist of at least one entry).

The Ingestion of Foreign Objects

    Children often swallow small objects and adults sometimes accidentally ingest things that were not meant to sink into the stomach, if indeed they can get that far. As well, there are people who deliberately swallow items - many, many items.

    I happened to stumble across a short article in The TImes (London) from the early 1980s that offered examples of patients who had, on purpose, put into their mouths many things not remotely related to any of the major food groups. That article prompted a reader to send in a clipping from The Times which provided another example that occurred almost 50 years earlier. In that piece there was another reference to an even earlier article that was supposedly found in the New York Times and it had to do with a woman who was found to have half a hardware store in her stomach.

    If you are at all interested in investigative reporting involving gastric issues read on since I was able to track down all the sources. Although some of the accounts are astonishing, keep in mind that the sources are a medical journal and the two TIMES, and that his all happened before the era of fake news.

A Knife and Fork For Dinner

    The original report that started all of this is found in the “Times Diary” for March 1, 1982 under the heading “Hard to Swallow”. The author is summarizing an article from a medical journal. I went looking for the original source and here it is: “Recognition and Management of Patients who Repeatedly Swallow Foreign Bodies”, Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine,  Volume 75, February 1982. The article notes  that “During 1978, over 3000 operations for the removal of foreign bodies from-the gastrointestinal tract were performed on adults in England and Wales”.

Here are the five cases presented in that article (if you wish, you can skip these medical accounts and go directly to the two sensational journalistic ones that follow):

Case reports

Case 1:

An 18-year-old warehouseman in Cardiff docks, with a history of repeated drug overdosage, was first treated in the Midlands in 1965 by gastrotomy for the removal of an ingested darning needle. Eleven years after this he swallowed some razor blades which he had wrapped in tissue paper. These were removed at laparotomy which was complicated by a faecal fistula. A few weeks later, following a quarrel with his prostitute girlfriend, he swallowed some more razor blades which, again, he had covered with tissue paper 'so as not to cut my throat'. A plain anteroposterior abdominal X-ray (Figure 1) showed a razor blade which, although it overlay the gastric shadow, was not seen in the stomach at gastroscopy because it was probably situated in the transverse colon. The blades passed naturally and without complication.[WOW]

Case 2:

A male cook first presented at a hospital on the south coast, aged 23, after he had swallowed some pins. Following an unsuccessful attempt at endoscopic removal, the pins were removed by gastrotomy which was complicated by a subphrenic abscess. Two years later he swallowed several darning needles which on plain abdominal X-ray appeared to lie outside the bowel (Figure 2). There were no physical signs to suggest bowel perforation and he was therefore managed conservatively, without complication. Two weeks later he swallowed a propelling pencil and a kitchen knife which both passed naturally. Six months after this he swallowed a penknife and an open safety pin. The penknife was removed at gastrotomy but the safety pin could not be found, and was subsequently passed naturally. When the patient was told that he was fit for discharge, he threatened to 'swallow the hospital bit by bit'; as an hors d'oeuvre he promptly swallowed a bolt from the bed-elevating mechanism. A month after discharge he attended the accident and emergency department of another London hospital claiming falsely to have swallowed paraquat. Two weeks after this he was readmitted to Charing Cross Hospital following an overdose of chlorpromazine, amitriptyline and salbutamol. While an inpatient he swallowed an open safety pin which passed naturally, and a few days before discharge, using a syringe which he had acquired on the ward, he injected his anterior abdominal wall with lavatory cleaner.

Case 3.

A divorced woman, aged 28, was seen at a hospital in Surrey having swallowed three spoons. There was a previous history of depressive illness in adolescence, which had been treated by electroconvulsive therapy, and she had cut her wrists at the age of 23. The patient said that she had swallowed the spoons because she heard a voice telling her to do so. During the next fifteen years, in response to this voice, she swallowed safety pins, needles, hair grips, a tooth brush, both metal and plastic teaspoons, over a dozen dessert spoons and the bell end of a stethoscope. She has undergone at least 17 laparotomies, in a variety of hospitals, for the

removal of these objects. At one laparotomy performed in Charing Cross Hospital, five spoons marked 'Guy's Hospital' were removed. The indications for each of the laparotomies varied but at no time had bowel perforation occurred. Although there are at least five spoons at present in her bowel (Figure 3), for the past three years a policy of conservative management has been adhered to. She has remained well  during this period, although she has been admitted to Charing Cross Hospital on four occasions with mild intestinal obstruction which has rapidly settled with a period of intravenous fluids and nasogastric decompression. It is not clear whether this obstruction is the result of previous surgical adhesions or is due to the spoons.

Case 4.

A 17-year-old subnormal boy, in long-term hospital care, presented with

haematemesis. Plain abdominal X-ray demonstrated foreign bodies in the stomach, including nails, razor blades, glass and coins. Endoscopic removal was attempted but was unsuccessful and the objects were removed by gastrotomy. Following this operation the patient developed mediastinal abscesses which were the result of an oesophageal tear at the level of the azygos arch and which required a thoracotomy for drainage.

Case 5.

A 17-year-old reform school boy swallowed several nuts and bolts because he 'felt like a change of scenery'. He was admitted to St Woolos' Hospital, Newport, where he was managed conservatively and returned to his school's sick-bay. Eventually he was able to confirm, from regular stool examination, that all the objects seen on the plain abdominal Xray had been passed.

“Heimlich Maneuver Sprays Shrapnel”

Had these next two accounts appeared in the tabloids, they might have had a title like the one above.

    The clipping sent in by The Times’s reader must have been this article:

“Italian Labourer’s Appetite: A Diet of Mixed Hardware,” The Times, Sept. 19, 1936.

This report is from their correspondent in Trieste.

“An X-ray examination in a local hospital revealed in the stomach of a 47-year-old labourer 11 pencils, three fountain pens, a fork, a screw, several coins and five keys. Two more pencils had been painfully ejected by the patient as he was entering the hospital, but his statement that he was unable to go home because he had swallowed the key of the front door was disbelieved until its probability was scientifically proved.

A glimpse of other undefined articles, equally hard of digestion, lying in his stomach was obtained, but a complete inventory of them was obtained only on Wednesday after an intricate operation, the fruits of which are said to have amazed the surgeon who performed it. One by one were taken from the man’s body 13 ordinary keys, a large door key, a screw, a sardine-tin opener, three cigarette holders, a spoon, 15 pencils, five fountain pens, four penknives, a safety razor holder, two needles, a piece of glass, four 2-lire coins, one 50-centesimi coin, and a key chain. The operation is said to have been perfectly successful, and the man’s first words after its conclusion were to inquire whether the 8,50 lire he had swallowed had been found.

In the reporting about the 1936 account provided above there was a reference to a sensational case two years earlier and this would be it. Given that we are all now more sensitive about medical privacy I almost redacted Miss Wolf’s name, but I am pretty sure she is not around to be offended. This report is from The New York Times, March 20, 1934.

“1,2O3 METAL ITEMS EATEN BY WOMAN: Hardware Found in Stomach Includes Bolts, Screws, Tacks, Pins, Wire and Glass -SWALLOWED FIVE YEARS AGO”.

A total of 1,203 items of hardware was taken from the stomach of a woman patient at Kings County Hospital after an operation last week, Dr. Adam Eberle, superintendent of the institution, revealed yesterday.

The patient, Miss Mabel Wolf, 40 years old, of 476 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn, is recovering and apparently will be none the worse for the experience. Dr. Eberle said her immediate need was a prolonged rest and a more orthodox diet.

The operation, for which the original diagnosis was gall bladder trouble, was performed last Tuesday by Dr. Anthony Pirundini under the direction of Dr. Edwin H. Fiske, head of the hospital’s surgical staff.

The list of items removed follows:

584 fine upholstery tacks,

144 carpet tacks,

2 chair tacks,

46 small screws,

6 mediums screws,

80 large screws,

1 hook-shaped screw (coat hanger)

30 small bolts,

47 larger bolts,

3 picture-frame hooks,

3 nuts,

2 large bent safety pins,

1 small safety pin,

1 head of nail,

3 brass nails,

83 pins,

9 pins without heads,

1 matted mass of hair containing screws and pins.

59 assorted beads,

4 pieces of wire,

89 pieces of glass (all sizes),

1 piece of teacup handle.

According to the story she told physicians, Miss Wolf swallowed the objects in the course of a single week five years ago when she was employed in the hardware section of a Manhattan department store. She said she felt depressed one day and for reasons which she cannot account, swallowed a quantity of tacks, nails, screws and pins.

This she continued for the next five days. There were no immediate effects, she said, but a few weeks later she began to have recurrent pains. These she treated successfully with patent medicines until a few weeks ago, when they became so acute she called a physician.

She was taken to the hospital, where an X-ray examination revealed a mass of foreign substance in the stomach. The physicians were frankly puzzled, but even more so after the operation was performed. They are at a loss to explain how she was able to retain the metal objects for so long a period of time.

Dr. Eberle said the case had attracted a great deal of attention at the hospital and that the hardware had been placed on exhibition for the benefit of internes and others interested.

Miss Wolf is understood to live alone and have no relatives.

You will have to admit that this subject is more interesting than "Clean Eating" and are probably relieved that the entire article was gluten-free.

On Smoking

They’d Walk a Mile For One

    Most of you probably know that it used to be the case that many people smoked - everywhere and all the time. Cigarettes were lit in libraries, and in movie theatres smoke curled around the light beams streaming from the projector. The command of permission heard in military settings - “The Smoking Lamp is Lit” - was not required by civilians who flicked their lighters immediately upon awakening and inhaled smoke along with their orange juice. I remember one friend who smoked through every meal. He would take puffs between bites and light a new cigarette from the one still burning. Bars were smokey, ash trays were full, stogies stunk and mostly we hardly noticed.

    Now it is the case that many people are intolerant of smoking and it is largely outlawed indoors. That is why we see groups of puffers huddled outside large buildings and even hospitals. Many are often ostracized from their own abodes and forced to sneak a few puffs on cold Canadian mornings outside on the porch. Why they continue to smoke, even in such unappealing conditions, is a question best answered in this description. It is of a man with bad lungs caused by too much time in a tannery and too much smoking.

    “He sat until he felt he had denied himself the final pleasure long enough. Then he took out the Camel, lit it and inhaled deeply. It seemed odd to Mather Grouse that nothing went all the way down any more except cigarette smoke, which somehow knifed through the phlegm and arrived at the very center of his body. At times he thought it would be the most exquisite pleasure in the world to smoke an entire pack of Camels, one right after the other, for it was only when he smoked that he had the sensation of truly breathing. Intellectually he knew it was a cruel deception - that each Camel reduced the number of breaths allotted to him - but there was no denying the experience. Even the pure oxygen he received at the hospital didn’t penetrate the way Camels did, and he often smiled at the notion that what he needed was not to be hooked up to an oxygen tank but to an endless Camel.”

    The wonderful writing above is by Richard Russo and it is found in the novel Mohawk, (Vintage Books), pp.76-77. If you enjoy good stories about the complicated simplicity of small town life be sure to read his books. He also authored a very funny book about life in an English department (Straight Man). And, if you think your mother is a burden, have a look at Elsewhere: A Memoir, which is largely about his.

Campus Comedy

Essay Time

    I was up at the university nearby a few days ago and the students seemed down and dour. It was quiet even in the library.  I would imagine things are rather gloomy because essays are due and exams are forthcoming. It is highly likely that the professors (or more likely, adjuncts or graduate assistants) who have to read the results are depressed as well, but none were spotted. On this frivolous first day of the month I thought I would attempt to cheer them up by reminding them of the potential humour at hand.

     Early in this century an enterprising professor mined the student papers and exam booklets for funny bits and found enough to publish this book:

Non Campus Mentis: World History According to College Students, by Anders Henriksson. This is the 2001 edition.

    A few years later he published another version and from these works some samples are provided:

Ignorance is Blitz: Mangled Moments of History From Actual College Students, by Anders Henriksson. This is the 2008 paperback edition.

“John F. Kennedy worked closely with the Russians to solve the Canadian Missile Crisis.”

“Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill and Truman were known as “The Big Three.”

“Athena the Hun rampaged the Balkans as Far as France.”

"Prehistoricle people spent all day banging rocks together so they could find food. This was the Stoned Age."

"Civilization woozed out of the Nile about 300,000 years ago. The Nile was a river that had some water in it. Every year it would flood and irritate the land."

"Magellan circumcised the globe."

"John Calvin Klein translated the Bible into American so that the people of Geneva could read it."

"Cat berets were a favorite form of German entertainment at this time."

"History grundled onward. International relations moved to the broodle stage."

    Perhaps proving that the Whig interpretation of history is the correct one, evidence of continuing progress is found  in Professor Henriksson’s latest work:

This work “is a parody of a course-by-course study guide right down to its spiral notebook complete with doodles. Featuring bloopers, blunders, and desperate attempts to bluff the right answer, it is a hilarious report on the state of American higher education.”  Some of those bloopers:

"The Eight Amendment bans cool and unusual punishment."

"Most liberals are circular humanists."

"The propositional phrase is often an attempt to answer the questions 'where' and when'?"

    I assume that among my millions of followers many are Canadians and I would warn them that it would be wrong for them to assume that books such as these provide additional evidence that standards are a little lower in the establishments offering higher education south of our border. (As an aside, better evidence will be available tonight in the interviews that will be held after the “Final Four”). I offer this warning because some of the student ‘gems’ offered by Professor Henriksson were written by Canadian students!

    Professor Henriksson taught at both McMaster University and the University of Alberta (he has a Ph.D in history from the University of Toronto). Way back in the last century he produced an essay presenting such student wisdom and much of it was likely based on Canadian examples. The article was originally published in the Wilson Quarterly in the spring of 1983. Luckily for you, it was one of their most popular essays and it was re-published in their collection “Four Decades of Classic Essays” and you can read it here (WQ, Vol.38, No.1, Winter, 2014).

   In an interview he was asked:  "You're making these up, right? College students aren't this stupid”. His answer: “ I'm not making them up. I don't think you could. Anyone who's taught at any level, whether it's college or third grade, will have a whole raft of funny things like this that students write. ... I got into the habit of sitting with a legal pad next to the stack of essays I grade, and I write down the funny things I run across. And I've built a network of other like-minded souls across the English-speaking academic world who very kindly contribute to me their own harvest of glee.”

   With some glee I am able to report that Professor Henriksson is still teaching history at Shepherd University in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. Perhaps he will offer us more samples. (As another aside, I will note that they will have to be really good given the humorous examples of mangled prose and jumbled thoughts being offered daily by a competitor - the POTUS who is located just a few miles down the Potomac).